I Wish I’d Written That

This is the kind of clever writing I’d like to do, but I’ve never been able to.  These were sent to me by a friend; the original author is unknown.

 

This Should Keep You Busy For A While —

– Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?
 – What if my dog only brings back my ball because he thinks I like throwing it?
 – If poison expires is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?
 – Which letter is silent in the word “Scent,” the S or the C?
 – Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn’t it be called double V?
–  Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and it just takes 75-100 years to fully work.
 – Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.
 – The word “swims” upside-down is still “swims”.
– Intentionally losing a game of rock, paper, and scissors is just as hard as trying to win.
 – One hundred years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars.  Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.
– Your future self is watching you right now through memories.
–  The doctors that told Stephen Hawking he had two years to live in 1953 are probably dead.
–  If you replace “W” with “T” in “What, Where and When”, you get the answer to each of them.
 – Many animals probably need glasses, but nobody knows it.
–  If you rip a hole in a net, there are actually fewer holes in it than there were before.
– If 2/2/22 falls on a Tuesday, we’ll just call it “2’s Day”. (It does fall on a Tuesday)
– One hundred years ago a twenty-dollar bill and a twenty-dollar gold piece were interchangeable.  Either one would buy a new suit, new shoes and a night on the town.  The twenty-dollar gold piece will still do that.

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